Inside, it might sound like this.
“I’m the one everyone depends on, just not the one they promote.”
You’re the safe pair of hands. But your great work only seems to lead to more work, and however much you give, it always falls just short of the promotion.
“I put my hand up for everything, even when I’ve got nothing left.”
You say yes to the new project because it feels like you have to. But you’re already stretched so thin that the strategic work, the part that could get you noticed, gets whatever is left of you. And when it doesn’t land the way you hoped, you’re the first to blame yourself.
“I’m working so hard for this promotion, and I’m not even sure I want it.”
You’ve been working towards it for years, and you’re so close now. But when you picture actually getting it, you feel more tired than excited. And you’re not sure who you’d even admit that to.
“What am I doing here? I don’t belong in this room.”
Everyone around you seems to know exactly what they’re doing, while you’re bracing for the question that gives you away. Saying “I’ll get back to you” feels like admitting you’re not ready, so you over-prepare. Afterwards, you replay the meeting, thinking about what you said and what you wish you’d said.
“I don’t even know who I am any more.”
You’ve become very good at being who the role needs you to be. You’ve done it for so long that you’re no longer sure where the job ends and you begin. And it follows you home, into your evenings, weekends and time with the people closest to you.
“I still give it everything. I’m just starting to resent it.”
Quiet quitting has never been an option for you. You can’t imagine not delivering or letting people down. So you work through lunch, answer one more email at night, and wake up worrying about something you might have forgotten on your to-do list.